And We're Back!

We made it and are almost settled in. It feels strange to be here and it was exciting and yet at the same time depressing…….

Let me explain……

Reno is the place that you visit and when you leave you “think” you miss it but when you get back you can’t think of a single reason why you felt you missed this place at all. We both grew up here so of course we both have memories of our childhood town but I guess things seem so much different after you leave and come back. I was feeling an overwhelming sense of indifference about our decision to return, while I’m grateful to be far from Ohio and near family, as we continue to drive through the streets around the city I feel that around every corner I’m forced to drift down memory lane.

I’m sure I must sound like I’m suffering from some kind childhood trauma that I’m being forced to relive but this I assure you is not the case. I loved my childhood! And somehow being back here makes me feel like I’m once again that child……..and there’s the problem……I am an adult with “adult problems”, I have faced many challenges in the last year that had made me wish I could be a kid again and not stress over adult matters but in reality we know this cannot happen, but here, being back in Reno I feel the sense that I’m somehow trying to resort myself to that child like state of mind. I’m beginning to wonder if this is normal…..what is normal?  Am I the only person who dreads the feeling of being trapped? This town is too small, too many opportunities to revisit old memories and childhood friends or people I feel I knew in some past life. I dread having meaningless conversations with people about myself when I bump into them at the grocery store…..I enjoyed being able to live a near non-existence in Ohio and I must say that is the one thing I’ll miss.

During my last visit back home I recall celebrating my Bachelorette party with some old friends and being hit on at a bar by an old high school acquaintance who didn’t recognize me, blame it on the booze or the fact that he hasn’t seen me in over 7 years but unlike the show Cheers, I want to go where nobody knows my name. (Did I mention that this old high school acquaintance was an ex-boyfriends friend who I may or may not have punched in the face after he toilet-papered my house during senior year) AHHH I hate small towns!

Ok, I sound ridiculous…..I admit it!

We have enjoyed a few of our visits down memory lane………

On Monday we popped over to one of the local casinos and enjoyed a little breakfast for only $4.99 and then reminisced the days of eating cheap casino food with our parents and getting to pick the Keno numbers on our parents Keno sheets……….sweet sweet gambling……..I’m sure every casino had to know that the only reason parents played Keno was because kids found the game to be irresistible……..picking numbers at random and getting filled with excitement seeing them pop up on the big flashing screen……..Wait! And we can win money too!….....geez…….when I grow up I’m going to gamble all the time! LOL! Luckily this is not the case and even in Vegas I feel guilty for throwing away $20.

We’ll see how it all plays out……It can’t be all that bad…….right?